By Cecilia, Brkn mom
About not wanting to bother family or best friends, because you feel you've used up your "credits" or not calling friends because you do not want to "burden" anyone. Assuming other people know how badly you need help or just company. I can totally relate to that- I am that way too.
But the really, really scary part and the really, really sad part is that our loved ones who left us the way they did probably felt the same too.
Isn't that the first question we ask ourselves?
Why didn't they just ask for help? Why didn't they tell us? Why didn't they call?
All the people at my son’s service would say,
“I wish he would have reached out.”
I had no idea he was depressed.
Why didn't he call us, we would have done anything for him?
There were over 150 people at his services.
It was during the day on a weekday.
Some people drove hours just to be there.
I know that had my son reached out to any of these people
they would have helped him.
On behalf of my son, I ask everyone to please, please, please
Pick up a phone and start reaching out.
If you don't want to go out -invite someone to come over for coffee
To watch TV
To cook with you
To eat pizza.
Give people a chance to help, to be there,
Don't write them off without asking
If they have plans- schedule a future date
And call the next person.
Some will disappoint you
But others will step up.
Or find other bereaved people who might also feel alone
And offer them company.
They don't understand everything about our pain,but they understand what it is to lose someone they Loved.
This post first appeared on the Alliance of Hope for Suicide Survivors forum. Reprinted with the permission of the author. Visit our moderated community of support to those who have experienced the tragic loss of a loved one to suicide.