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Father Rubey writes that "At some point survivors are challenged to embrace what has happened in their life" and later "Survivors are challenged to make a decision about what lesson can be learned from this tragedy" Both statements imply to me choices, power to meet, a Survivor. At this point almost nine months in I don't feel I have survived anything. It seems to early to call my self a survivor, I feel no power to make choices or decisions. I'm not playing the victim, there is something? I need to build the power to decide. I hear the glimmer of Hope in his message but don't see it on my horizon. I get up each day and give it my best but Peace, Hope and Faith elude me. When will I be stronger? Do I just keep trying?

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