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03/23/2016

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René Ferreira

I lost my husband to suicide almost six weeks ago. I feel like I have lost my faith even before all this happened but now it is even worse. My husband was a very good man, one of the best but he was plagued by two huge illnesses. Deep depression and alcoholism that exacerbated the depression. I could not be with him all the time as I worked away from home. He was a recovering alcoholic and I worried about him with me being away. He started drinking again and hid it from me very well even getting the children to keep it secret. I found out about this just a few days ago and I am angry beyond words. First, he killed himself and now I found out he lied as well! I also miss him beyond anything and don't know how I will go on. I was doing grocery shopping today and wanted to attack the alcoholic department and to throw every bottel off, breaking it so it can not destroy another life. I am forever tense and anxious. I look at couples walking together and I see that not all appreciate each other. I want to tell them life is short and to please stop fighting. I can't stand fighting at all where in the past I was always ready for a fight. I ask myself almost every day why God allowed this to happen to a good man like Dirk! He had such a big heart! Why inflict all this pain on him and cause chaos in all of our lives? Why, why, why?

Becky Kruse

Thank you for your kind, uplifting words. When we lost our Adam, age 22, I had years of guilt, being born and raised Catholic, that he was eternally damned. I know this isn't true but the Catholic faith sort of hammers certain "truths" into our young minds. Thank God, truly thank God, that I now know in my heart Adam is loved and at peace. One Love. Adam's mom in Tulsa

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