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Joanne Mayhew

Nov 16 2011 will mark 2 years since the suicide of my precious son. I have cried, grieved, mourned, and physically ached more than I ever thought was possible. I have more than seriously wanted to die myself. I have withdrawn from my family and suffered horribly from 'secondary wounds' from family and acquaintances. There have been many days and nights I prayed to just go to sleep and never wake up. Prayed to be run over by a big truck so it would appear like an accident. Little by little I am learning to live with it. There are days now that I do genuinely smile. It is inevitable, as time passes, I will crawl back into the sunlight and ponder the meaning of my life now. Will I look at it like a gift ...having the chance to be 2 completely different people in one lifetime? Will I be able to help someone else crawl back into the sunlight? Will I be able to be a wife again and an involved mother to my 2 remaining children? There has to be something waiting for me ... I must make myself ready to see it and participate. This means I must let the smoke clear so I can see. If I can see, I can do.

Bev Cobain

I am a survivor of three family suicides, plus a few of those patients with whom I worked as a psychiatric nurse. I would never tell a survivor that they will "never get over it". The goal of the survivor is to live a purposeful life, while continuing to keep the memory of their loved one alive and honored if that is what they choose.

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