by Debra K.
As the weeks rolled on, I found myself asking why, why, why? What happened in such a short time for my son to feel that suicide was the only answer? I was very close to my son, we talked all the time and I could not believe what he did! I started researching; reading all kinds of books, searching the Internet, talking to people, talking to GOD. I needed to know what happened, what did I miss?
I could not come up with any answers that made any sense where my son was concerned. No matter what anyone said, all I knew in my heart was that he did not want to die. I prayed and prayed. I asked please tell me why? Nothing... Finally I just prayed for peace and to just know if he was ok wherever he may be.
A few days before the six-month mark, I was up late as usual. Around 3:00 am, I got up to go to bed. As I
was turning off the lights, I said my prayers again asking my son to please
just let me know if he is ok. My husband
was already asleep as I crawled onto my side of the bed. I must have fallen asleep right away, that's
when the dream started. I was in a room with
my family when a psychic walked up to the front of the room, turned around
and said "Oh, Wyatt said Hi." I
started crying his name over and over.
Suddenly, in my dream I was back in my bed and my son was sitting on the side of the bed. I sat up and Wyatt looked into my eyes. Very solemnly, he said to me "I'm ok", then put his arms around me and buried his face into my neck. We held each other tightly and I started soothing him, telling him everything was going to be all right.
As I was cradling him in my lap on the bed, I remember thinking how am I going to get his lanky legs up over my lap without waking my husband? Periodically, he would lift his head and look behind him. I asked him "Honey, why are you looking behind you, what or who are you looking at?" He just put his face back into my neck and held on tightly.