I went to my first support group meeting since my Son's death by suicide this past summer. Had to wait until a session started in my TX town. It was more than I envisioned.
I don't attend church. It was held in a church classroom. I don't pray to God much anymore. It opened and closed with a simple prayer. I don't speak to anyone anymore about my Son's death. I spoke last night. I haven't cried in two months. I cried this morning. I was starting to feel like I was losing him all over again. I found him last night.
Those people, who appeared so different from me, all ages and backgrounds, were me. They were me. They were ALL survivors. All of them. I hate that we had to meet each other like that. I love that we met each other. Contradiction? You all know it is not, because you are me also.
Like the restaurant's jingle, "no rules, just right." Just right. I spoke of this site. Of the comfort and hope given freely to me. In our small group of a dozen, three knew about it. Now they all know about it.
What is it about being among survivors that makes me feel like a human being again? What is it about writing this that brings me hope again? What is it?
I love my son Damon. I miss him so much. I don't want to face another day without him, but I will. I will. I will because I am a survivor. And so are those dozen people. And so are you. I have found my Son again. Thank you. Thank you.
Walk in beauty!
This post first appeared on the Alliance of Hope for Suicide Survivors forum. Reprinted with the permission of the author. Visit our moderated community of support to those who have experienced the tragic loss of a loved one to suicide.