It has been 5 1/2 months. It seems like forever, it is hard for me to remember not feeling this way. It is now November, and everyone has been doing those 30 days of Thankfulness. I am not. Of course, I could find something to be thankful for each day: your sister, brother, brother-in-law, nephews, and your Dad. But it reminds me too much of what I do not have, what I have lost.
But I will write on this 28th day of November that I am grateful for you. You are my son, and you were here for almost 25 years. I think back over the years, though it is still hard for me.
I think of your energy. You had such zest for life! You were always in a hurry. It was hard to slow you down. You were always running ahead and jumping off of things before I could even catch up to you. I think of the letter I still have that you wrote at age 10 to Sting to say you were his biggest fan and would make a great partner for him!
I think of your music. Of you playing guitar in the school talent show and everyone standing and clapping wildly as you put the guitar behind your head and played the Star Spangled Banner just like Jimi Hendrix. Of you in Battle of the Bands, your awesome hair flying through the air as you played Metallica. Out of all the memories of your music, I cherish most the many, many nights that we would go sit on our front porch. You would play your classical guitar for me as your little brother caught fireflies. It is one of the happiest memories in my heart.