I think this is something we all need reminding of at times. So many of us ‘beat ourselves up’ for the grief we are experiencing, the pain we are in and the impact this is having on our lives. Society (and ourselves) place so many expectations on us it is hard to escape the ‘shoulds’. This is something I have struggled with and continue to struggle with throughout this grief and trauma journey. I should be better than this, it shouldn’t be impacting me this much, I should be able to do x,y,z, I should be ‘over it’ by now…
Given what all of us have experienced, it is an amazing accomplishment that we are still here. That we are breathing despite the pain. And you are all doing more than that. Each and every one of you is doing more than bearing the situation. You are here, reading, posting, processing, thinking and feeling. So many of you are getting out of bed, taking a shower, looking after little ones, going to work, keeping a semblance of a life ticking over despite this shattering your world.
Even on days where everything seems too much. Even in the early, early days, where the acts of eating, showering, drinking all seem impossible. You are still here. You are still fighting. You are still achieving an amazing, incredible thing simply by waking up each morning. That in itself is enough. That in itself is an achievement worthy of noting and acknowledging.
It can be so easy to forget this idea. But I want you all to give yourselves permission for that to be enough. To acknowledge that it is an achievement to simply bear the situation. To wake up the next morning and take another breath. Don’t minimize the strength, courage, resilience, and sheer determination it takes to get out of bed each day wearing this weight, or to simply wake up each day if you don’t quite make it out of bed.
It truly is a great personal achievement that all of you are still here, still bearing this situation we find ourselves in. One day, in time, I hope we can all see this. Until that time, be kind to yourselves. Give yourselves a pat on the back. You are achieving simply by being here, and that is enough.
This post originally appeared on the Alliance of Hope Forum and was reprinted with the permission of the author.