by Marshall Dunn
Guilt is an awful thing to carry around with you in your heart and upon your shoulders. Feeling guilty means that you haven’t explored or processed the bigger picture at play. Your perspective on what you’re feeling guilty about has no balance.
Where you find intense responsibility, there will always be its balance of the innocent truth close by. There is no greater sense of guilt than after a suicide loss. I know…I carried it with me for many years. Sure I miss him and will always love him. But now I honor him instead of carrying him. I honor my own authenticity within and in turn that love honors his life.
Walking through life with this attachment to continuous guilty thoughts soon impacts on how you act. These active choices based off of guilt develop as patterns and eventually effect your way of being in the world. It feels like baring a cross to your own crucifixion. It’s a type of handicap that limits your ability to access and feed yourself joy.
Guilt is probably the number one feeling when it comes to suicide loss. How did we let this happen? How did I not see the signs? Or worse – I knew the signs were there but why didn’t I act more swiftly? Now I’m angry and I feel guilty that I’m angry – it goes on and on. And if you let it go on and on for months and years – then we have a problem that can create all sorts of dis-ease within your life.
The process I went through to tap into and unlock my subconscious thinking around guilt was relatively simple. However, I had to be completely honest and real with myself. After a suicide loss – looking deep within and allowing the truth to surface can be difficult.
My work guiding others on their paths to healing involves understanding the balance of life – this includes embracing the end. The ability to praise and appreciate both sides of the coin is key. Challenges and obstacles can serve us just as much as the perceived “good” things that come into our lives.