I was kidnapped and assaulted with another girl while travelling nearly nine years ago. Four years ago the other girl suicided as a result of what happened to us, and subsequently both of her parents suicided because they couldn't cope with the loss of their daughter. This sparked a good three years of turmoil for me (particularly the first 18 months).
I have gained a lot of insight about myself and the world around me over the last few years while working through this stuff. I would love to over time post that stuff here for other people to see and provide some feedback.
I won't post all of them at once - way too much info. But here is the first installment. My aim for all of these is to write a mini-essay type thing talking about where they came from, and what they mean to me. I hope they provide just a bit of hope to others so that things can shift and become easier over time.
You can experience, feel, sit with and manage very intense and painful emotions, thoughts, feelings and memories by allowing them to be there, accepting them, making space for them, acknowledging them whilst still living life around them. They don’t have to hijack, ambush, control us or completely consume us – we can feel them from a distance.
It is possible to be strong and vulnerable at the same time. Our moments of greatest strength may be the times we accept and allow our vulnerabilities to be seen by ourselves and others.
Emotions aren’t good or bad, right or wrong, they are neutral. They all have value and purpose and are all a part of living a reach, full life that has authenticity and meaning. It is the judgments that we as humans place on our emotions that label them and color our perceptions of them.
Struggling or fighting with emotions can take your focus away from them and place your attention elsewhere, but it doesn’t remove the emotion.