In the aftermath of suicide, many survivors express doubt about previously held beliefs. Some question their relationship to God, religion or their spiritual community. Some find themselves angry: "God, how could you allow this to happen?" Others find comfort in their religion and the support of their faith community.
For example, this father wrote: "Several things helped us during the dark time that followed our son's death. The support from our congregation was invaluable."
Father Charles Rubey, founder of the Catholic Charities LOSS Program, is well acquainted with the grief of survivors. He writes:
"'How could God do this to me?' is a common question from survivors. 'How could god allow my loved one to become so desperate that they would kill themselves?' is another frequently asked question.
Grieving people seldom find answers from their religion during these times of extreme pain from the grief. ... I think that our faith and our religion will add a dimension to the grieving process but it is not going to be a magical elixir that is going to take care of our grief. It only adds a dimension. ... Religion is not the answer because grief is not a religious issue but it is a human issue and religion is not going to take away the grief but it certainly will add something during the grieving process.
Obviously, I am not anti-religion but I don't want anyone to be under the false illusion that religion is going to take care of the grieving process or that someone is going to worry that they are weak in their religion because they don't find comfort during the grieving process. One cannot rely solely on religion to get thorough grief. There is much more to do in grief than pray. Religion and religious practices will certainly add this dimension but it should not nor cannot be a substitute for the grieving process."